Archive for February, 2010

This thursday at around 5 am my little nephew Frederik Oskar was born. He is the second child for my brother and his wife and the first sibling for their 2-year-old daughter Martha Charlotte. I am very happy for them that they now have both girl and boy at home and I am excited as hell for the new member of our family. But at the same time it nearly breaks my heart to know that I also have to leave behind those two awfully young kids when I move to California next year.

I myself have an aunt who lives in Utah. For me this was always kind of super cool, because I got to tell people that I have relatives in the US and I was always super excited when she came back to Germany to visit the family. I am already very worried about how my parents, my parents-in-law, every other member of my family and my friends will deal with the fact that I will live thousands of miles away. But I am actually worried the most about this two little children.

My niece is a really shy kid and I don’t see her very often, so I am not at all an aunt she loves and looks up to by now. I am so afraid that I will not be able to bond more with her in this last short year here in Germany. And I am even more worried to not ever have the chance to bond with my little nephew! It brings me to tears when I picture that these kids might be grow up with the the knowledge of having an aunt in America who sends packages and can be visited eventually, but will have no clue about who I am and how I am based on their own memories.

I know that moving abroad for good is not an easy thing to do and that there are more negative than positive sides about it in the beginning. I also know that the loss of my family and my friends will be the hardest thing for me to deal with ever! But i have made this decision and now I have to live with it. Live with the scars and eventually live with the benefits of all the compromises I made!

No, I did not forget to tell you about my weekend in London, some other things just seemed to be so cool to me I had to tell you first. Two weeks already passed since our visit to London, which is kind of amazing. Time is ticking, but let’s focus again. As I told you before, we went to London to visit my best friend Petra and her british boyfriend Robert. We stayed at their flat in Finsbury Park, which kind of scared me, because I am not quite sure about my spoken english skills and we had no chance to be on our own and not talk english.

We arrived on Friday around lunch time, which was kind of lucky, because we got to spend some time with Petra alone. Petra took us out for a late english breakfast. The “restaurant” we ate in was some kind of indish bistro, which offered everything from the classic breakfast plate to american hamburgers and indian curry. Ordering in english was not only my first challenge this weekend, but also my first defeat. The indish guy seemed to not understand a word I said, so in the end Petra had to order for me! I felt kind of bad about this and left the restaurant with a bad feeling in my belly. If even a waiter was not able to understand the few words I said to him, how would I manage a whole weekend with a british guy?

In the evening we finally met Robert and it was kind of awkward first. I hate to hear myself talk english. I always form sentences in my mind before I actually say them and in my thoughts they sound nice and I absolutely know how to pronounce everything. But guess what: When I say english words, they just seem to sound disgusting! I had some vine that evening which relaxed me a bit, which was great. So I talked in english, understood everything Petra and Rob said and I guess and hope that Rob also understood what I said.

This weekend I sometimes got in situations where Rob or I just had to repeat sentences or questions for each other, but we were able to talk. And I think being able to talk in a foreign language is the first step! My first step to living and working in America!

We went grocery shopping yesterday and I nearly went crazy when I saw that they have strawberries again. I am kind of addicted to strawberries and eat them nearly every day in summer. The problem in Germany is that it is really hard to get good strawberries that are not sold for ridiculously high prices outside the strawberry season.

And then it hit me: I will soon live in a country where they don’t have a “strawberry season”, but sell them all year long. When we got home, my hubby checked the internet for strawberries in California and found out that there are no fruits that are sold as seasonals in California anymore. Does this mean that I can buy not only strawberries, but other fruits like watermelons or tangerines whenever I want to? And more important: Is it the same with vegetables? Can I buy asparagus or broccoli or brussels sprouts every damn day of the year? That is kind of crazy and I don’t know what to think about this.

When I now am in America I always feel like a little girl in paradise. There are tons of clothes I like and can afford, the food they sell in the grocery stores looks amazing and is so different and new for me, they’ve got lots of cars I love… I could go on with this list for ages. But I am scared that I won’t be able to feel this way after some time of living over there. Will I still be overwhelmed by the new choices I can make or will I get used to the good stuff and start to search for a new country that offers thing I can’t buy in America?

It is funny how banal situations always kind of refer to our Greencard win these days. Even if the big change in our lives hasn’t even taken place yet, the Greencard affects our life every day!