Posts Tagged ‘emigration’

…even, if people tell you better not to! And that happens an awful lot, when you are a Greencard owner with plans of moving abroad!

Being only a few months away from moving to another country, you naturally doubt your decision a lot! I honestly know that we need to do this. That we don’t risk losing much! We are young, our english is pretty good, we are experienced workers and work in jobs we can do in the US, too! And we don’t have kids that we need to bring abroad with us, yet. But even, if I know that I won’t lose much more than a dream when we might come back after a year, I sometimes am seriously scared!

In this situation you somehow hope that your family and loved ones will try to take that fears away from you. But they won’t! Because they are scared of you getting hurt! Their fears added to yours, sometimes is way too much to handle! After every serious talk we have with our parents, I need to calm myself down and tell myself that this is a chance I waited for a long long time and that Flo is with me and that everything will work out fine – no matter if we will make it in the US or not!

We always laugh about the people they show in these emigration documentaries on TV, because they don’t care about anything and don’t prepare theirselves enough. But sometimes I actually wish that I might have a bit of their naivity and careless nature. Because being as serious and realistic about the whole emigration thing (as we are) might be healthy, but is nowhere near easy!

We are back home in Germany since Sunday morning and today was my first day at work. I kind of felt like time has been turned back. Like if the last two weeks didn’t happen at all. Reality hit me so hard again this morning, that all the good feelings I had till yesterday are somehow gone. Somehow I am just functioning again and not living like I’ve been in the last weeks.

The good thing is that after our trip to our future home I feel more confident than ever that our emigration plans are the right thing to do. When we first arrived in Huntington I was kind of depressed, because it was not exactly what I had imagined it to be. But with time going by, I realized that this is where I want to live. While spending time with our friends over there, I realized that this is how I want my life to be. And that thought and that feeling is what I will hang on to in the next months.

On the one hand this trip helped me a lot, because it grew more confidence in me for that whole US dream, I have been dreaming about like forever. But on the other hand this visit we paid our future hometown broke my heart. I already feel so homesick for Huntington, for our friends and for the feeling I had when being there, that it kills me. I so want to book the next flight over and just stay there.

My dream will stay a dream for at least another eight months. But in this eight months I will do everything I can and work as hard as I can to finally turn that dream into my own wonderful reality!

Today is my birthday and it is kind of a sad day for me. This may be the last birthday I celebrate here in Germany and this is scary! I guess days like birthdays or other holidays will be the days when we realize most how much we miss home. It must be so strange to not be able to just drive by your parents, brothers or best friends houses to get yourself a birthday hug! When we had dinner tonight with my parents and my parents-in-law we joked about having a birthday dinner via Skype next year. I laughed about that, but perhaps it will be what my birthday looks like next year!

I am so happy to not be alone with this whole emigration thing! To be frank, if I hadn’t got Flo in my life I wouldn’t be able to go at all, because he is the one who won the Greencard. But anyway I don’t know, if I would be brave enough to go on my own. Short before Flo and I met I really thought about trying to get a job in the US. I was so bored with my life back then and was desperate for a change. The whole being alone in a foreign country thing didn’t scare me much back then. Perhaps because I hadn’t found the love of my life, yet, and didn’t knew what it ment to be without real love. Or just perhaps it was just a dream and not a dream you already reached for!

They always say that friends are the family you choose on your own. Perhaps I will be with a new found family on my birthday next year. Perhaps I will be alone with my husband. Or perhaps I will be having dinner with my parents and my grandparents via Skype. Whatever it will be, I hope I will be happy with what the last year brought to me. And right now I just can’t wait to experience what this will be!