Okay, first of all I have to say this: I don’t wanna seem cranky or unthankful with this post. So first thing I have to say is that I am so so thankful that this whole dream came true for us and that we are still living in the US, have a pretty nice life and not that much left to ask for. But I want to be honest with you and therefore I have to say from time to time that life far away from home can suck big time! From time to time it hits you a little harder and this week I had one of those weeks.
It all started when our really good friends from Germany got married the other weekend and for sure we couldn’t go to their wedding. It sometimes just rips your heart out that you miss nearly everything. Then my little nice turned 6 – again without me. And it was mine and my brother’s birthday this week. I don’t care much about birthdays, but it is hard to be away from all your loved ones when you have a day that should be all about love, family and close friends.
After two years here I feel like we settled in pretty good and found some great friends – but still it isn’t the same! The funny thing is though that noone really seems to realize that. People always tell me stuff like “Oh, you totally live the dream”, “I would give so much to be in your shoes” or “You are so lucky!”. Yeah, I actually did make my dream come true by moving here and making life work for me. But pretty much everyone keeps to forget what I gave up for that and what I still have to keep up with to make this last. It seriously can suck so much to live 10.000 miles away from all the people you trust, it can be awful to work with people who have a completely different mentaliy than you do and it can be painful as shit to still have to learn new things every day.
I am proud of what I achieved and sometimes I can’t believe that I didn’t just give up and go back to Germany! But please don’t mistake living the dream with making a dream come true! I still have a lot of things to accomplish and get out of the way, to live the dream! And even if they will be very painful sometimes, I am looking forward to meet those new roadblocks.