After a lot of back and forth Flo and I decided to go home for christmas – again. We actually had planned on not doing that anymore for a few reasons, but recently we both more and more become cool with the idea of visiting our old home again. A few reasons spoke for going back for christmas, but the strongest ones were definitely seeing our friends and family. I have been a little homesick lately and really need some quality time – other than on Skype – with the people I love most. Another factor is that a lot of our friends are having babies recently. This is one of the really hard sides of moving away from home.

When we first moved here my brother already had two kids and it really broke my heart to leave Germany with the knowledge that I won’t really see those two grow up. Missing people and missing out on milestones like that is something you try to prepare yourself for. But you can’t really imagine how hard it is to really be away and miss everything. One of our really good friends for example just had her baby a few weeks ago and it still breaks my heart that I never actually saw her pregnant. I actually saw her last christmas, but at that time I didn’t know she was pregnant yet. This christmas we will see her and her husband as parents with a few months old baby. We will see our friends in a totally different stage of their lives. And we weren’t able to accompany them on the way there.

I am more than happy to see that all our good friendships in Germany are still going strong and I am sure they will still be in a few years – even with us being thousands of miles away. But it still makes me feel a little guilty that I am not there for my friends. Not in the good times, not in the hard times. And this is why I am going home for christmas. To make at least a little up for the time I missed and enjoy slipping into my old life again. Only for two weeks – but still.

Even if it might look like we have the perfect life here in LA, sometimes it isn’t as easy as it looks. This week has been very tough. I will explain why in more depth at a later point as this blog shouldn’t only show the good life, but also the hard side of moving to a foreign country.

One thing why this week hasn’t been as good as it should have, is that I have been really sad. Every other week being away from home, your friends and loved ones really hits you hard and hurts. We found awesome friends over here and I feel very lucky to have them around and very supportive a lot, but sometimes even that can’t help. Sometimes you just wish yourself back to your best friends couch in Germany watching bad german TV and eating german food. I don’t know why it hit me that hard this week, but I had a very hard time coping with it.

To every single one of you that still has this journey ahead: Please always keep in mind that there will be hard days. No matter how great stories on blogs from people that already moved to the US sound, everyone has to go through these tough weeks. It doesn’t even always need a real reason, you will just always be torn between two places: Your old home with the loved ones you left behind and your new home with precious new friendships. But if you long for the other it doesn’t matter how great the new is, you will just be hurt. Actually you already know this feeling, because you feel this lust to try something new and move away. And as less as your friends in your current home can’t take this longing away from you – it will be the same after you moved away!

But don’t worry, life is good. Hard times are there to be endured. And we can already smile again and enjoy our new and amazing life!

Lately I have been homesick a lot. Not homesick, because I miss Germany. But homesick, because I miss my family and friends a lot. Sometimes it just hits you that it sucks sooooo much to live far away from your family and friends. No matter how mch you love your new home, those days will still hit you in the face and just make you wanna cry.

I was always super afraid of those days and for sure they don’t feel good at all. But I still am happy that I have those days. Not that I like being miserable, but it still reminds you how good home was. How lovely and gorgeous the people you left behing are. And how you always have a second home to go to. People always tell you that it feels bad to be torn between two places you call home. But sometimes I more feel like this is an amazing thing! There are surely people on this planet that don’t honestly can call one place home. I on the other hand am so lucky to call two places my home.

I probably will be over this phase soon. Especially, because my parents will be coming into town in the next weeks. But I will always cherish these tough reminders and memories that make you feel like you abondoned a part of yourself. A part that you will always be able to go back to! A second home you will never stop feeling homesick for!