Lately I have been in that what I call realizing phase a lot. I often catch myself feeling like I am on vacation or like this must be just a dream. This morning for example I woke up and kind of thought to myself tomorrow I will wake up at home again – at home in Germany. It feels really weird to go through this probably normal phase, because I feel home in the US already. But I still seem to be adapting to my new life a lot.

I mostly have those moments when I wake up, when I talk to my parents via Skype or when I am at the beach or in the Hills. In those moments our new life feels more than surreal and it surprises me that it usually feels so normal already. Still when people ask us how moving to a new country feels, I have to say that I don’t really feel like we immigrated to the US. We might as well just have moved to another city in Germany in my eyes. But being thousands of Miles away from home in a foreign country – this is absolutely not how it feels to me!

Even if we already feel home here, I sometimes wonder how long it’s gonna take until I don’t still mistake Germany for my home. And until I fully adapted to living here and don’t have those weird vacation-feely moments anymore. This is probably something every person that moves to a foreign country has to go through. But even if I slightly felt prepared for this, it still always takes me more than by surprise. And in those moments I really have to ask myself: Am I dreaming or is this dream reality?

After two months of living in LA I don’t really feel like I moved to the other end of the world. Sure, I do live in a foreign country with a foreign language and have to go through many (good and bad) changes. But I don’t really feel like I totally abonded my family and friends. And luckily I haven’t really been homesick at all so far. But there is still a thing that makes it kind of hard for Flo and me right now. Since we moved to our new apartment we do not have an Internet access. We both luckily can use the Internet at work to stay in contact with our family and friends but still it is hard to not be able to talk to your loved ones for three weeks.

We luckily will get Internet on Monday and I really can’t wait to talk to my parents, to watch my little niece have breakfast on Skype and to chat with all our friends. This experience of living without Internet in a foreign country kind of gave me the impression of how it must have been like to emigrate years ago. I am so unbelievably happy for having the opportunity to call my parents daily, to stay in contact with friends via chat and E-Mail daily and through that still be close to everyone. I really don’t know if I would have taken that step without the Internet or without being that Internet-savvy person that I am.

We might enjoy our last free weekend without long phone calls and chat sessions a bit, but I really look forward to being back online and connected!

To all our family members and friends reading this: We miss you!

Yesterday I cried for the first time in this whole emigration process. I had to say Goodbye to one of my lovely girlfriends and it nearly broke my heart. I actually hold back the tears till I was out of the door. I didn’t want to cry in front of her, because crying makes Goodbyes so much harder. The worst thing is seeing how your actions hurt your friends and family.

On Sunday I had to say Goodbye to my brother, who is working in Hamburg this week. That was actually really easy, because my brother said that this Goodbye is not for long and that he isn’t afraid of not seeing me, because there are phones, Skype and we actually are only a 12 hour flight away. After that I hoped that most of my friends will be easy like that, but yesterday proofed me wrong. Even when you know that this Goodbye is not for long and that you won’t lose people for good, it just hurts!

After yesterday I am a bit scared of all the Goodbyes lying ahead of us. Today I will have to say Farewell to three of my girlfriends, on Friday we will meet Flo’s best friend and on Saturday I have to part from my grandma, my sister-in-law and my niece and nephew. I don’t know how many tears I will shed in the next days, but perhaps losing them now is not the worst thing. Because dealing with all this parting pain now might make the next weeks easier.

But still, for everyone who will have to part from loved ones soon: Do cry! It actually helps!