Since like the day of our last six months in Germany began, I am kind of waiting for the big panic to arrive. I wait for the first time I feel that this isn’t right, that I won’t bear to leave my family and friends and that the panic of not getting a job and living on the street will overwhelm me. But guess what: The panic seems to be busy with someone else, because it just doesn’t show up at my place!
Everytime I see Los Angeles on TV, hear songs that make me think of the US or talk to someone about it, I suddenly get so excited and happy. Yes, I sometimes am scared, because there is so much left for us to do. Because we have one hell of a journey in front of us. But I never feel afraid. I feel happy. Happier than I have been for a long time!
People always say that you know right away when you found your love. I actually were so lucky to find my true love and knew it very very early. Perhaps what I feel right now is just fate telling me that is what I have always been meant to do. That the US is my destiny. Shortly before Flo and I got married in 2009 I also sat there and waited. Waited for the panic of spending my life with one person to arrive. Waiting for myself to point out everything that might be wrong about our marriage plans. But that never happened. I never seriously considered calling off our engagement for a second!
I never was one to believe in fate. Not, because I don’t wanted to – I just never met fate! But now I know that fate exists! That fate leads us in the right directions and just gives us a feeling for what we have to do and what we better shouldn’t do! My fate was to marry Flo – so I did. My fate is to go to the Us – so I will! Perhaps I may meet panic on the way, but will it stop me? NO!